"Heavenly Love" vs "Common Love"

Pausanias: "Heavenly Love"

To my wife

For Pausanias, in the Apology, love has to be discriminated into two classifications. One is heavenly and the other is common. The difference between the two is on the object of their love. The object of love for the "common love" is the body - and other temporary and unstable things like wealth, power, and fame. While, the object of love for the "heavenly love" is the soul - and other eternal and unchanging things like wisdom and virtue. The common love is considered evil and not noble, because, it is based on something that is unstable. The body will change in time - will age and deform. If love is to be based on the body, love will will also change as the body changes. Love is not stable in that case - which should not be. However, the heavenly love is good and noble. Because, love is based on something stable and eternal. Love here will last and thrive. It will not be subject to change.

Also, aside from the two classifications of love, Pausanias also points out two laws of love. The first law is concerned about the lover. While, the second law is concerned about the beloved. The first law says, that the lover is the one to impart knowledge and wisdom to the beloved. As being, usually, the older one, he is tasked to guide the beloved to become wise and live a life of virtue. While, the second law says, that the beloved should reciprocate the guidance provided by his lover through service. The beloved should be serving the lover in any way he could.

For me, I believe in the two classifications of love, as well as, the two laws of love mentioned by Pausanias in the Apology. However, I do not believe in the singularity of roles in a loving relationship - that the lover is the lover and the beloved is the beloved. What I believe in is a dual role in every loving relationship. That is, one person can be and should be both the lover and the beloved at the same time. This means, that one person can and should play the role of the lover and the beloved to his partner in their relationship - depending on the situation. There will be times that I will be the one imparting wisdom and virtue to my wife; and receive the service that my wife will reciprocate. As well as, there will be times that I will be the one being imparted wisdom and virtue by my wife; and I will be the one giving service in return. In layman's term, this is what we call the give-and-take in a relationship. And I think, this should be the basic mechanics of a healthy and true love - also the essence of marriage. 

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