The Tenderness of Love

The Tenderness of Love

To my wife

For Agathon, in the Apology, love is tender. "[W]here there is hardness he departs, where there is softness there he dwells." What is referred to hardness and softness here are the states of our hearts and souls. A hard heart and a hard soul is the one full of anger, hate, and judgement. In hearts like this, love will always depart - love will not dwell. A soft heart and a soft soul is the one that is full of care, understanding, and thoughtfulness. In hearts and souls like this, love surely dwells. Love stays and grows in the hearts and souls of men that are soft - that are tender to others. 

The important lesson here is, that the first step to love is to prepare oneself. Prepare one's own heart and soul to have all the tenderness that one could possibly give. Love starts within. If love has a perfect dwelling in you for it to stay and grow, then you can be ready to extend it to others. This love that is present within - the tenderness of heart and soul - will be the love that you'll be able to give. This means, that you will be tender to the people you love. You will care for them. You will understand them. You will be thoughtful to them. You will do to others all the forms of tenderness that you have within - in your heart and soul. 

But, same rule applies with other people. Other people cannot receive love or appreciate love that is given or shared to them, if they do not do the same preparation that you did with yourself. Remember, where there is hardness, love departs. No matter how you love the other, if the other is not soft within, love will not stay and dwell. For love to stay and grow within a relationship - like in a family, a couple, or among friends - all members need to make themselves worthy of love. There is a need for mutual or collective tenderness in each and every heart and soul. With that, love will surely start to grow. And, it is only when everyone in a relationship continues to be tender to one another that love will become strong. There is a need to maintain tenderness with one another or else love will depart again.

Do you agree with the idea of love mentioned here? What are other states of hardness do you know of, that were not mentioned here? What about states of gentleness, what can you add to the list? 

Do you think there is a way for love to stay in states of hardness? What are your personal experiences of love? How can you testify for or against the idea about love mentioned here with your experiences?

Please let me know what you think about this blog in the comment section below. If, you have questions, don’t hesitate to comment them too. Let us discuss deeper and share insights about this blog.